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TEN REASONS CHRISTOPHER Jr IS BETTER THAN ANY OTHER KID by T.Archer 1. He has an Exo-Skeleton. Thus, is not a soft pudgey thing that cries with grazed knees. Father: Son do you have a splinter? Christopher Jr: No, because I smashed that wood with my naturally armoured body booyah!. If he falls (not that he would because unlike a human kid with their large heads and no balance) he would not get grazed. So this is the first point to Christopher Jr.
2. Children do not fix things. Christopher Jr Fixes a projector that contains the star system. When was the last time your child fixed your electronic?. What has your child made you?. Oh a macaroni picture well done. Another point to Christopher Jr 3. Stranger danger is a constant worry to children today. Well except Christopher jr. When offered candy by some perv he doesn't wait to be fondled. He throws it with fury at his enemy. Well done. Also when pursued he knows how to blend like a ninja. Can your child do this NO. Point To Christopher Jr 4. Take a close look at your child's head. Does it have antenna?. No?, you fail again. If you can not see the value of antenna you double fail. One more point to Christopher Jr 5. Christopher Jr has an appreciation for the little things in life. When he's told to go outside and play does he ask for a $50 action figure or wail over having no nintendo DS\? . No. He plays with a milk jug and is happy. So one more point to him and the finger for your ungrateful spawn. 6. Christopher Jr can rise to a challenge. Most children cannot rise to the challenge of eating ice cream (see above picture). Christopher Jr sees that things have gone to hell. He blends ninja style and then goes to work manning a computer and remotely piloting an exosuit, killing gangsters. I mean come on. BADASS. Plus one point to Christopher Jr. 7. Christopher Jr possesses a powerful set of legs. Most kids get tired and can not even walk very long (remember they have over sized heads). Christopher Jr is only carried once. The rest of the time he takes care of himself. Plus one point for him. 8. Christopher Jr despite living in a slum has style. Look at your kid, google kids fashion, see above picture and then look at Christopher Jr. You know the outcome by now. One more point to Christopher Jr (he even wears gloves in salute to breakfast club that's awesome). 9. A crazed man with an axe bursts into their shack does Christopher Jr A) scream like a bitch or B) is not intimidated and is prepared to play hide and seek?. Now ask yourself what would your kid do. The answer is A) . One more point to Christopher Jr. and finally... 10. The final reason that Christopher Jr is better than your or any other Kid. Despite being only a child he has managed to get into space. Will your child ever do this?. No. That's ten points game set and match.
Christopher Jr. See above chart of data compiled. |
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