Sick Puppy Zine

 You have got to love it when a man as openly cynical as myself outs themselves as watching romantic comedies. It is a guilty pleasure on my part.

So the basic premise of this movie was what intrigued me, as well as the trailer which made this movie seem so damned amusing. Keep in mind I am also the guy that likes Pineapple Express, Superbad and Kick Ass. The main character is your average guy, so average in fact that his friends give him a rating of 5 out of 10. Meanwhile in an twist of cosmic fate, he meets a girl; a 'hard ten' as his buddies put it. It is this that prompts my writing today.

This rating system is one we hear all the time these days. Be it the guy that emphatically assures his mates that; 'c'mon man that girl was a stunner an 8 or 9 at least'. Or the girl who tells her girlfriend that she is a '8 girlfriend!'. What I have always wondered is. Who the hell is making up these ratings? Is there a guide to ascribing said rating? Where the hell do I rate?

Loading up google (AKA the great E-God.com.au) I punch in 'how to rate a girl 1-10' (interesting that 'how to rate a guy' and 'how to rate a horse' are search options that also come up, perhaps a telling comment about this whole system). A myriad of responses come up. Being a lazy bastard I click on the first one. A poster by the name Roosh has set up his guide to rating women. He starts at seven, describing her as 'the girl next door' and can be seen as the average girl. Then 8 is a girl that in the picture he's provided is a cheerleader type. 9-10 he claims are the same category separated by clothes and grooming extras. He states that tens do not exist in nature. Though I'd question the infallibility of his ratings considering he made a newer version of the rating system recently.

I then decided to see if I could find a male equivalent of this scale system to see how the ladies rate the lads. Surprisingly I truly could not find one. Most girls claim to run on a binary system, '1- he's hot' or '0 - he's not'. There were also various other labels such as 'hot', 'hunk', 'cutie' or 'babe'. But these lack the same categorising that Roosh describes.

One thing I did find interesting in the movie was that the boys were discussing the approximate value of their friend Kirk. Giving him a half point for being funny.

I often hear the points system being used to describe the potential attractiveness of a woman. Then problem I have is that I also deduct points for things. Losing a point for being snarky to my friends. Or losing all points for homophobia, racism or being ultra-bat-shit-insane-religious. This basically becomes an issue because it means that a girl that is physically attractive could theoretically score far lower than a girl that others might not consider as attractive physically. Whereas the so called '8' or '9' girl will lose points for various personality faults, the so called '6' or '5' will gain points for having an interest in art, a sweet taste in music, the ability to never use words like 'totes' or  'Justin', 'beiber' in any sentence. 

Personally I have experienced a case of a less physically attractive type beating the more physically attractive type. I know this because I was the five that beat the eight. How did I do it?

I guess I got a point for being able to actually talk confidently to the woman. Where as Mr 8 lost a point for constantly bragging about how great he was. He lost a point for trying to be all alpha male hero and tear me down. I picked up a point for being able to run circles around him and having good comebacks for his insults. I gained a point (not half a point) for being funny. He told dick jokes...'nuff said. In the end one could estimate that I had gone from a five to seven and a half or an eight. Whilst Mr 8 had lowered himself to a five. At least that was the feedback I received over drinks a week later.

To sum up, I do not have any clue who made up this rating scale system but do not feel trapped in it. Just remember you should be the only person that estimates your value.